The Art of Love and Deduction
by TheSchuylerSisters3
Summary: When the youngest Holmes, Quintinella, moves to the U.S.A. after a particularly bad incident with her co- workers, she meets Spencer Ried of the BAU. What could go wrong when you have the government, a sociopathic, drug addicted, genius, and criminals out for her head.


I don't own Criminal Minds or Sherlock. I was bored so I wrote this. *shrugs*

Dr. Spencer Reid walked down the road to his favorite coffee shop at the literal crack of dawn. He was always early to his job at the Behavior Analysis Unit in Quantico, Virginia. Usually it was quiet as he walked down this particular road, as most people were waking or still asleep. But today it was not.

"Are you joking" a woman's voice yelled, causing him to seep around the corner to see the commotion. "I told you tomorrow" the voice yelled again, this time him seeing the person attached to it. It was a relatively tall woman with black hair as he could tell, he could not see her face though. She was yelling at a rather squat and stocky middle aged man who was throwing things out of the window. Their was already things on the grass, which the woman was ignoring in favor of yelling at the man. "

"That's the rest of it" the man said as he threw down what was obviously a wallet. The young woman caught it and opened it.

"Where the bloody hell is my money" she said and then sighed when no reply came. "You better hope my laptop's okay or there will be hell to pay" she said and rushed forward to a black bag. The doctor picked some of her things up and approached her as she got out a laptop and typed.

"Are you okay" he asked the woman who whipped her head around quickly. Her eyes were a silvery blue color and seemed to be scanning him. She turned back to her laptop before speaking to him.

"Doctor, correct" she said in her British accent. He looked at her concerned, did he know this woman. She closed her laptop and put it back in the bag before standing up and holding out her hand. "Quintinella Louise Holmes" she said. Reid stared at her blankly for a moment, before shaking her hand.

"Dr. Spencer Reid, how did you know that I was a doctor" he asked and she smirked taking her things from him.

"I observed, you are obviously intelligent judging by the copy of War and Peace in Russian peeking out of your bag, but also you work for the government based on your posture, but no firearm, but you have plane tags on your bag making you a field agent, so I'm going with BAU, but a doctor for them" she said and Spencer felt his eyes get wide.

"How did you do that" he asked as she picked up some more of her things and put them into various bags.

"I simply observed, and through what I observed, I deduced" she said as she put a final book into a bag. "Fancy a coffee, there's a place right down the road and you seem like intelligent company"

* * *

"So you deduce things, where did you learn that" he asked absentmindedly as she returned with the coffee. She smirked.

"It's a family trait, my brother's do it too" she said and she seemed to be scanning him again. She took a sip of her coffee and they sat in the peaceful quiet for a moment before Spencer spoke.

"Qiuntinella is a strange name" he said then getting embarassed seeing as that could be offensive. "It suit's you though" he said quickly and she replied momentarily.

"It's a family tradition, my brother's names are Mycroft and Sherlock, my parents are Eowyn and Sherrinford" she said looking out of the window she mumbled a bit. "Serial Adulterer" she said and Reid was momentarily confused.

"What" she turned back to him slowly taking another sip of her drink.

"That man" she said pointing to a man who was talking to a brunette woman. "He's a serial adulterer, see he just took of his ring before waving at the woman, saying that they are not married, but when he did the inside of his wedding ring was clean, in contrast with the outside which is dingy and not cleaned much, signalling unhappy marriage for roughly fifteen years, no sixteen, but also that he removes it often, also look at his clothing, quite expensive, so why isn't his wedding ring cleaned, saying that even if he did take off his ring to sleep, he could get it cleaned based on his obvious wealth" she finished still looking at him. He was amazed, even as a criminal profiler, she had gotten all that from a single action from him. "He recently took a vacation with his wife, not with that woman as there is a tan line where his wedding ring was, I'd say somewhere tropical, Bahamas perhaps, the woman is actually in her late twenties on contrary to the early twenties she's telling him" she said as she observed more. Spencer didn't know what to say so he asked her a rather mediocre question.

"So why were you evicted" he asked and nearly face-palmed.

"My rent was due tomorrow which is when I get my final check from my old job, which typically landlord's are fine with, but I guess he didn't appreciate my experiments and things" she said bluntly.

"Experiments" he asked.

"The last one involved a head in my fridge, well what was I supposed to do with it, there was no room in the freezer" Spencer had so many questions, how did she get a human head, what was in her freezer that left no room for the head, why was there a head in the fridge.

"Where did you get the human head and what were you trying to find out" he asked debating whether or not her human head keeping was legal.

"I got it from the morgue, my brother Mycroft called them before hand, and I was studying the coagulation of saliva after death, now I'll never know the results, I hope he returns the head to Mildred" she said absentmindedly. "You need to go Dr. Reid, your job starts at eight, yes" he said and looked at his watch. It was seven- thirty, he still had a fifteen minute walk as well.

"I'm sorry but I've got to go, I'll see you around sometime" he said and clambered up from his seat. She smirked for what seemed like the fifteenth time today.

"I'm sure you will, Spencer" she said and waltzed out of the cafe. Answering the phone as she emerged.

* * *

"Hello dear brother, how may I help you on this fine afternoon" she said to her eldest brother.

"I think it is I who will be helping you today, sister, your new flat is much better than your old one I must say, with brick walls as well, just in case you get bored to a dire extent" he said and gave her the address. A black car then pulled up next to her. She got into the car.

"You could've saved me that phone call Mycroft" she said not even looking at her brother at first. She then looked up. "How is our brother" she asked.

"Recovering as I hope you are" he said cooly, referring to Sherlock and Quinn's recurring habits.

"Keep us busy then" she said equally as uncaring meeting her brother's gaze neither of them looking away. The car stopped. "Goodbye Mycroft" she said. "And you would do well not to try to steal from me again" she said holding up the small bag of white powder and Mycroft pulled from his pocket an empty bag. She gave a small flourish of the hand as a farewell. Walking up to the old brick apartment complex.


End file.
